“Here.”



Transcendental Graphics | Getty Images

Those were the words (well, word) that baseball legend Mickey Mantle spoke as he handed me a signed baseball. I was 12 at the time, and my friend’s dad took us to meet the retired Yankee great for a signing. I had no idea who he was, but my friend’s dad had tears of joy streaming down his face, and with a line of fans snaking around the building, The Mick stared into the middle distance as if he was imagining some place and time he’d rather be.

Credit: Dan Bova

Was he imagining stepping into the batter’s box for one more taste of glory? Um, probably not.

A new document sold at Lelands auction house this past weekend for $242,788.80 — and it offers one possibility of where Mickey’s head was at.

[Warning: Graphic Language]

The document is a handwritten questionnaire that Mantle was asked to fill out in 1973 regarding his “most outstanding” experience at Yankee Stadium. His answer was to be used in a Yankees’ 50th-anniversary yearbook.

Did he recall any of his seven World Series wins, his multiple MVP awards, or his race with Roger Maris to break Babe Ruth’s home run record? Not exactly.

Instead, Mantle wrote:

“I got [sexual act] under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bullpen.”

Adding these details:

“It was about the third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn’t [f—] at the time. She was a very nice girl.”

Mantle put in some other details that I’ll leave out for decency’s sake (go here to see the full sordid story), and signed the questionnaire “Mickey Mantle, The All-American Boy.”

Related: Hotel Worker Shows What Really Happens During a Night Shift

The Lelands auction house listing explained, “Mickey Mantle’s talents on the baseball field are well documented. Much less known, however, are his literary skills, particularly when it comes to off-color narrative prose.” The listing goes on to say that although copies of the questionnaire have been seen for years, “like the Mona Lisa, or any other great work of art, there is only one original, and this is it.”

Related: 4 TED Talks About Love, Sex and Desire

The identity of the buyer is not yet known, but it has been a banner year for Mickey Mantle memorabilia. This past summer, Mantle’s rookie baseball card from 1952 sold for $12,600,000, making it the most valuable piece of sports memorabilia in the world.

After learning all of this, I checked eBay to see what the value is of that ball he signed for me back in 1986. Alas, I learned that Mantle’s signature isn’t worth nearly as much if it isn’t preceded by extremely personal musings. I can probably only get a couple of hundred bucks for it.

In the words of the baseball great, f – – -.